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I'm not going to do any spoiling but I just want to say that the idea of waiting for the next season has reduced me to tears. Not even joking.

May. 28th, 2012

I'm back! Internet is fixed and class is winding down. I finally have time for things that aren't doing work or complaining about work.

What I have found is filling most of my time is hating useless people.

I'm 24. I turn 25 in a few months. I am studying in a course with a mix of people my age and younger. There are a few teenagers. I'm finding it really hard to deal with them, in particular the boys. 

They turn up late/not at all
They talk in class
They make sexist and racist jokes and then get offended when asked to stop
They hand in assignments late
They think they know everything
They drink a lot
They are constantly getting into boring drama and taking up everyones time with it.

I find it very emotionally draining. I don't want to have to deal with teenagers. I dealt with them enough when I was one. 



Thats what you're all asking isnt it. Well my internets been down for two weeks and I'm studying right now so I can't technically allow myself to journal on the library computers unless I've got my work done.

Anyway I just thought I'd pop in to say


I love it so much it hurts.


I have some nonsense to share with you all.

There is a young boy who studies with me. He's very handsome and tall and all the little girls just LOVE him. And he's sweet. So sweet. Such a sweet, tall, boy with a little gaggle of teen girls following him everywhere he goes and laughing at all his stupid jokes.

I sort of see him like a little brother. Someone I need to protect and care for. It's sort of weird that I assigned myself that role but oh well it's done. Problem is, this lovely boy turns into your typical JERK when he is around his friends. 
Nothing strange there, he's a baby. He's only 19. It's normal for him to be insecure around his friends and to become overly masculine and aggressive to compensate. 

It's just, I know he hates it. He's told me he hates it. He's asked me 
'why do I keep being That Guy' 
And I know he wants to change but he can't. He isn't. He keeps going back to the same jerk and every time he does it I see him get a little further away from the change he wants.

Sigh. It makes me sad. He's like my brother and he's trapped himself in a jerk cycle. His friends are...jerks. Racists and sexists in that incredibly biting way that only teenage boys are.

It's so insidious. How they will tell a girl to 
'shutup, stop being a bitch'
and that's it. She's been silenced.
'what are you on your period or something'
'crazy hormonal slut'

I wish I could take him by the hand and lead him out of his misery but I can't because I am not actually his sister. Oh well. 

In with love, out with love

Hey watch out, I'm about to rant and rave in the least cohesive way you can imagine.

I was watching the RuPaul recap episode and they showed the audition tapes. At the beginning of Sharon Needles tape they show her talking with her boyfriend Alaska. 
Their love for each other was SO STRONG. It punched me in the heart. They love each other.

And I just get so mad. Why can't everyone just let them love each other. Why? Someone tell me why. Someone give me a good reason why Love is restricted. Why love OF ALL THINGS is being witheld from a whole group. I just...I can't. I can't. I'm depressed. I'm so angry. I want to stare at them kissing each others shoulders and gazing into each others eyes all day. It's all I want. 

And let me tell you this. Sharon is AMAZING. I love her. And Chad Michaels. Please, she is class to the very end. 

Apr. 14th, 2012

I feel as though I have been waiting an eternity for Pottermore to become public. I just went and checked the site, which I do regularly, and all of a sudden it was there. Available to me. 


I missed out on getting into beta because I was travelling and I need any of my friendys who are in beta to tell me that it's amazing. IS IT AMAZING?????

I was going to reply to each one of you separately but in the end I am nothing if not efficient (ahah)

My new LJ friends, you are all lovely. In my last post I was so touched to have you all reply and be so kind. It has been a difficult and emotional week and it was so nice to read your kind words.

In the end today was a wonderful tribute to a great man who was loved by many and adored by his family. We will all miss him but now he is with his wife, my Nonna, who he loved and missed.

So thankyou again. I really do appreciate you all. 

I just spent 220 dollars on clothes for my Grandfathers funeral. 

UGH. Thats basically all the money I will ever have and it's for something TOTALLY DEPRESSING. I can't even be excited about owning these clothes. All I can feel is sadness. And also, old. I feel old. All my grandparents are dead and I only have one parent. I'm one person off being the only generation of my family left. Help. 

Hidden in his coat is a red right hand

I'm baking cookies for easter while listening to Nick Cave. It's striking a really interesting balance between delicious cookies and deep emotions. I'm not going to lie, I like it a lot. The only downside is it reminded me of the dance scene in Deathly Hallows part 1 and now all I want to do is call my entire family and tell them I won't be making it to dinner because I have to watch every single HP movie and it's going to take a day or two. Rude?

I've always had a bit of a strange relationship with Nick Cave. When I was a child he scared me. I thought he was death. Actual death. But as I hit puberty and found that INTENSE EMOTIONS were the name of the game I started to like him. Now I'm basically an adult (sad face) and I just seem to like his music for the musics sake. 

I guess we could call that maturity?

Anyway I can't remember how many peeps on my friends page like Harry Potter (though I will say you should ALL like it) but for those that do love it, did you like the dance scene in HP. You know the one, in the tent. I liked it a lot. It made me cry and sometimes a good cry is the perfect gift. I need one right now because I put too much brown sugar in my cookies and they have become a little too sweet. It's basically the worst thing that has ever happened to me.

Bringing Candy Realness

I haven't seen pictures of Raja Gemini for a while. I guess I had forgotten how beautiful she was. Now I've got this new icon and I'm reminded and it's really just made me miserable because no matter how hard I try I will never be as beautiful. Not in a million years.

I think my biggest regret about being a woman is that I can never actually be a Drag Queen. And I LOVE Drag Queens. Love them so much. 

When I was living in New York I met Raja, Manila and Carmen at a show and then I cried all night because their FABULOUSNESS broke my heart into a million tear shaped pieces.